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Within this period of seven years several things have affected my life and influenced my faith. These things I can never deny.
In the first place, since becoming a Christian, I have never found this religion to be a source of depression. The joy I experienced at the time of baptism has daily increased. If this religion were not of God but merely an illusion into which I had fallen, then surely within this period of seven years, in which, day and night, I have been objectively pondering its sources and principles, something would have emerged from within it at some point to create that dissatisfaction which I experienced from other religions. On the contrary, I find within it an increasing source of satisfaction and a growing cause for gratitude. Its value becomes more apparent to me daily.
Secondly, I have discovered that nothing can deprive me of that joy which I have found in the Messiah and which possesses my spirit. Within this period the people of this world have afflicted me by their words, writings, insinuations, mockings, and various other ways. They have related to me all kinds of fabricated objections against me. They have entertained the views of atheists and others also. Moreover, I have been assailed by physical and spiritual difficulties. On several occasions, even the pleasures of this world have imposed themselves upon me, desirous that I forget this one great joy. But they have all been powerless in having the slightest effect upon the joy I have found in the Messiah, even though I have not summarily dismissed them but allowed them entry in order to evaluate my joy in Christ in comparison with them. Such is the strength of this joy that nothing can disturb it. Nor is it that I myself have seized upon this joy and nourished it; rather it has seized me in a way that I cannot depart from it. Were a greater to be found, I would leave it. But when separation from it appears as eternal death itself, after leaving it where am I to go? Thus it is not that I have seized it, but that it has seized me. How wonderful the reply of Peter to the Messiah: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (Injil, John ٦: ٦٨).
Thirdly, I have experienced that as the knowledge of the Messiah grows, knowledge of oneself also grows. As His holiness, exaltation, power and wisdom become apparent, so one's sinfulness, degradation, weakness and folly are revealed. Since the world does not know Him, it wallows in it pride.
Fourthly, I have experienced the effect of the knowledge of the Messiah. As this knowledge grows, so does the change in one's life become apparent.
Fifthly, I have experienced that as sincerity and unity abound in one's relation with Christ, so a multitude of evils abound in this world. Yet to that degree also is the abundance of His comfort. In the midst of all these things our expectation does not dangle between fear and hope, but is rooted within the certain hope of salvation.
I beseech my readers to understand that God is surely here and that He has extended His hand of welcome. Come to Him, yet know that there is but one way, the way of a broken and contrite heart. Then you can find joy, and yours will be eternal life. The alternative is destruction.
